Book review — The Map : the way of all great men by David Murrow

I recently found out that bloggers can get free copies of Thomas Nelson books at BookSneeze in exchange for a review on their blog and one other consumer website. While visiting the site, David Murrow’s The Map : the way of all great men caught my eye, and I decided to review it so I could have a copy for my church library. (If any of you other Souls out there want to jump in, I’d love to have some more free books for the library!) Author’s note on this particular title: I grew up in a family of women, except for my dad; so I must admit, men are a bit of a mystery to me.

This book draws on the structure of the book of Matthew to translate the masculine spiritual life into an actual map. The first half of the book reads as a fictional allegory, and the last half reads more like a traditional self-help title. (I know, all the men are running away now! But wait!...)

Here’s a quote from Murrow himself (p.204):

Do you watch guy movies? If so, you’ve seen the three journeys played out many times on the silver screen. See if this plotline sounds familiar: A cocky young stud decides to confront some evil in his own strength. He’s nearly killed by the bad guys. Suddenly an aged, wrinkled man shows up and gives the villains a whuppin’. The old coot offers to train the immature hothead. The student humbles himself and accepts the training of the master (submission). He develops true physical and mental toughness (strength). Eventually our young hero meets his adversary and, after a back-and-forth battle, defeats him in spectacular fashion, sometimes dying in the process (sacrifice).

I like the way David Murrow tries to do away with the apparent disconnect between traditional masculinity (a la John Wayne and Sylvester Stallone, or even, say, Ralph Macchio) and Christian culture as we know it. I know some men who could stand to read this book; but will the type of man who needs to read it actually pick up a book like this?

I suspect that’s why Murrow opens the book with fictional tale of intrigue and adventure that he later ties together with his theories about the stages of Christian discipleship as they relate to male masculinity. I was not completely comfortable with this vehicle because the librarian in me knew this book was nonfiction, yet I spent the whole first half of the book trying to figure out if any of this was real or not; which for me, was a distraction.

The basic premise of the last half of the book is that the male journey of discipleship takes place in three distinct phases: submission, strength, and sacrifice. And that God requires different things of men during each stage of the journey. I found this comparison quite useful, and I enjoyed thinking about my own journey of faith in this way. Murrow also outlines ways men sometimes go astray in their faith journey and closes by thinking about how men can mentor and be mentored in discipleship.

This book isn’t actually as exciting or sexy as it tries to make itself out to be. It’s a traditional self-help book wrapped in a manly package, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Anything that encourages people towards a growing, authentic faith is OK in my book. My hope is that many men will read this title and become better able to grow closer to God in the process.

Couponing and the abundant life

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. ~John 10:10

How is couponing like the abundant life? Does couponing reveal the abundant life? Is it good stewardship? Or is it motivated by selfishness and greed? This is something I’ve been ruminating on for quite awhile. So let’s go:

1. You have to believe it before you see it. You have to be prepared to experience it. You have to expect it. It doesn’t just happen; it takes practice. And the more you practice, the better you get at it.

Your eyes become attuned to seeing what’s possible. Before I started couponing, actually researching it and practicing it, I did not believe it was possible to obtain the savings that I now regularly procure. I still don’t always see it. I have to look for it. I have to do my homework. But there is also definitely an element of chance and of being in the right place in the right time.

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. ~Rev. 3:20

2. Flexibility is key. It’s about someone else’s timing, not mine. Always be ready.

The savings are not necessarily something I can control. I must always be watchful and ready to receive or to wait.

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, ~1 Peter 3:15

3. Periods of lack are part of the cycle. Expect them. Don’t freak out when they come.

This cycle of savings is a cycle. It is not never-ending or static. There are times when there are no savings to be had, times when I happily eat soup or work with what’s in my pantry ’til there’s nothing left.

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ~Phil. 4:11-12

4. It is a function of community. Friends help each other find tips and encouragement. It is something to be taught and passed on.

I would never have figured all of this out on my own. I am indebted to many women who were willing to share what they know.

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God ~Titus 2:3-5

What are your thoughts?

I had such a down day yesterday. One of those days when you think, “Surely, I’ve gotten it wrong. I thought things were great, but I missed it; I was wrong…because they suck. And I think I’ll just sit here and lie in a hole kind of day.” But then I dragged myself up and went to Ash Wednesday services, because there was really nothing else I wanted to do. And my daughter drew these pictures.

And I said to myself, “Self, sometimes really important things happen in the face of discouragement. Don’t be distracted.”

Lord, thank you for lifting my eyes to the work You are doing. Amen.

I think she’s gettin’ it!

This week’s Sunday school verse: Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. ~Luke 6:36

(There are lots of opportunities for application when there’s a little brother around.)

Suave Wash Them Grow Sweepstakes

(Soap crayons…don’t leave home without ‘em… This is an old photo of my son enjoying the wonders of bath time)

My children took a bubble bath last night. That’s a pretty common statement for most parents but one that has been all too rare in my household in recent years.

The good people at Suave sent me some of their products to try out in celebration of their Wash Them Grow with Suave Kids sweepstakes. They are giving away a Family e-Keepsake Kit (video camera, laptop and digital camera!) each week and one Grand Prize of a family vacation to Orlando. Go here to enter daily until February 22.

My daughter’s sensitive skin was always irritated by most commercial bubble baths. Breakouts and irritation always followed not far behind the fun and the bubbles. I eventually stopped letting her take bubble baths, and told her she was “allergic to bubbles.” I am happy to report that there has not been one complaint in our house about the Suave Kids Free and Gentle body wash. It’s dye free and won’t irritate sensitive skin.

Not long before our package arrived, my daughter sat beside the tub, reading to me from Diary of a Wimpy Kid while I soaked in my own soothing bubble bath. (Perhaps this is another blog post…) “When can I take a bubble bath?,” she asked.

Right now, sweetie. Right now. Thanks, Suave.

No magic formula

Dear Readers,

As a frugalista, I feel compelled to share some recent news with you regarding store brand vs. name brand formula.

Mead Johnson, maker of Enfamil LIPIL formula, recently lost a false advertising lawsuit brought against it by PBM Products, maker of store-brand infant formulas for stores like Walmart, Walgreens, Target, and other retailers.

Mead’s ads were found to imply that their formula was superior to store brands in nutritional benefits when in reality the only difference was price.

Breast is best. Even from a purely frugal point of view, you’ll save approximately $2,000 a year by breastfeeding exclusively.

I don’t think formula ever passed the lips of my first child, but when baby number two came around, I did sometimes offer formula as a supplement to breast milk once I understood the rhythms, challenges, and strategies of breastfeeding. I have used both Enfamil LIPIL, and Walmart’s Parents Choice brand.

If you choose an infant formula, Consumer Reports recommends powdered formula as the most economical choice. They also remind consumers that all infant formula sold in the U.S. meets the same basic nutrient requirements specified by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

Full details of the decision and the complaint can be found at:

http://www.pbmproducts.com/docs/Order_Laches.pdf

Mercy

Do you remember when I was learning about humility? Well, lately, it’s been mercy. I like to say I am “mercy challenged.”

…

His name was Michael. He was selling Clear Miracle Citrus, $50 cleaner, which I surely didn’t need. I’m frugal, people! And I rarely buy things from anyone who comes to my door. But there was something about him…something about that moment. He was trying so hard — with all his heart, all his might — to get me to buy this. In my head, I ask “Lord, what is this about? What do I do?” In that moment, I look back up into his deep brown eyes and he says, “You see, I made a promise to the Lord that I wouldn’t go back to selling drugs, to living the way I was.”

And I knew. Any excuses I would have put forth about how I, a stay at home Mom, don’t have 50 extra dollars were refuted by my four year old son marching around in his $35 storm trooper helmet I had bought him that morning, just because (which I also never do). I didn’t have money for that either.

So I bought some Clear Miracle cleaner. And we talked about how hard it was going to be and about what he might do when it got hard. And I said I would pray for him, for the next year. And I have. Not every single day. But when he comes to mind, which he has. A lot. Especially when I see the piece of paper with his name on it. Or the bottle of Clear Miracle. Or this.

Mercy. Some situations, some relationships will never be repaired without the generous application of mercy. God calls us to this. It’s not fun. It doesn’t make sense. It’s humbling. But it matters.

This wasn’t just an isolated moment of clarity. This was a journey. Something I’ve been asking God about for years. and he’s been stringing together his answer — in a song, in a nudge, in a pair of deep brown eyes.

Praise Him. I surely wouldn’t do it without Him.

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. ~Micah 7:18

The scriptures

A. drew these during summer Children’s Worship at our church in response to stories from the Jesus Storybook Bible. Most of the imagery is from that Bible’s [very beautiful] illustrations. These are 3 of my favorites from her oeuvre. I have shared these w/ her permission. She says: “Dedicated to my friends and family.”

A daughter’s eulogy

Hi [cousin]:

Did you hear the news? Michael Jaxen died.
I am so sad.
Also I am thinking we could play store with are seashells.
Email me when you get this email please.
Lots Of Love and Hope,
A.

Letter to my Compassion child

Chere M.,

We are always happy to receive a letter from you. My daughter is always asking me if you have written. She made the enclosed notepad for you to write on.

We are happy, too, to know how to pray specifically for you. James 1:5 says, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you.” I pray that you will grow in wisdom and in stature, just as our Lord Jesus Christ did. What is your favorite thing to learn about in school?

I am happy that you were able to buy some Christmas shoes. What do they look like?

We are traveling today. It is sunny and warm. My husband’s mother has been a widow for many years, but on Saturday she will marry again at age 82. God has been faithful to her. It will be a happy day. My children will wear their new shoes. We will think of you.

God bless you and keep you. We love you and are praying for you.

Sincerely,

Elaine

M lives in Rwanda and is the same age as our daughter.