God has been teaching me about humility in the last year or two. And I have been asking what an authentically humble me looks like.
Yesterday, I stood in front of my church and said these words:
I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. To the King of ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.
I admit, I was embarrassed to stand up there and read these words from the second lesson of the day. I felt naked. I felt like I was confessing my own sins.
Too often, I tell myself, “I’m not so bad.” “So-and-so is a lot worse than me.” But I felt God letting me “try on” Paul’s authentic humility to see what it felt like, to let me practice being comfortable in a humble spirit.
I know that to really be used of God, I have to be comfortable saying, “I am the worst.” Not to dwell there and spiral down in shame, but to be aware of what I would really be without Him; to be aware that He is the only reason I am ever “not so bad;” to shake off the subtle arrogance that whispers, “You’re such a good girl; they’re not really talking about you;” to examine what I really believe about myself; to always and only give Him the glory.
I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord. To the King of ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.
Amen. You are so right - it’s all about knowing that we’re just no-good for anything, no better than anyone, but also at the same time knowing that through Christ we shine like stars.
“to be aware of what I would really be without Him; to be aware that He is the only reason I am ever “not so bad;”
Amen & amen.
Okay, I just read that VERY passage to my son and daughter like…2 hours ago. And now it’s echoing back to me. Isn’t Paul like….the coolest guy ever? I kept saying that to my kids. He is just so humble and smart and awesome.
I wish I were going to have another kid that I could name Paul.
And she’s back with six guns a blazin’!
I admire your candor and your ability to capture the depths of your insecurities and vulnerability so beautifully. And as always, I admire your faith AND your humility.
M
Wow! Something I needed to hear . . . thank you!
Immediately I think of the word “pierced”. You have pierced my heart with this reminder. And boy do I need it. I am printing our the verse and taping it on my desk with some other goodies that I need to hear. Not necessarily WANT to hear.
Thanks!
I am so thrilled to hear that God has done something with these verses as you ladies read this post. And, Emily, you’ll know God has done “a work in my heart” when I tell you I have wondered for a long time if Paul and I could really be friends in heaven b/c I kinda always thought he was an arrogant blow-hard. So it was extra special to try on his authentic humility. And, yes, he is really smart.
I love reading Scripture in a service. Doesn’t the responsibility of that ministry just seem to sink the text down into your heart extra deeply?
Jeanne
[...] a face like Brad Pitt and feet like Fred Flintstone? Oh, yes! It’s true. I guess this is what the humble me looks [...]